How to build a social life as a mature student
Posted on behalf of: Dharma Seneviratne
Last updated: Tuesday, 1 April 2025
University will always feel like stepping into a different world, whatever stage of life you're at.
While younger students are diving headfirst into campus life, you might have two WFH laptop jobs and a daughter to take care of; things pull you in different directions, and you might find yourself wondering if you'll ever find your place, your people, here at school.
The good news is that you absolutely can - it just takes a slightly different approach:
1. Find your community (hint: they exist)
My friend Anna told me when we first met that there was only one other mature peer in her cohort. She was surprised at the number of students at the Belong at Sussex team's Mature Community Drop-In in Woodland 3 that Thursday afternoon. We often assume we're in the minority because we can tend to take stock only of our immediate vicinity, see nobody like us, and assume we're alone forever.
Most universities have a Mature Students Society, or at least a dedicated network. Sussex has both! The Mature Students Society was restarted last semester, and the Student Engagement and Enhancement team run regular drop-in sessions with free coffee and snacks, video-games and boardgames, academic support and more. These groups are a goldmine for connection, with people who understand your challenges and might be juggling similar commitments.
2. Really lean into low-pressure socializing
The word 'social' doesn't always have to be a high-energy night out at a bar or club. Look for casual meetups, coffee catch-ups or study groups where conversations happen naturally. Stop to chat at a stall, and strike up a conversation with the person next to you. Go to the Canine Cuddles, attend a workshop. The academic skills workshops are especially great for putting the resources on the Skills Hub into a more active participatory group format - and there are always a good number of other students in attendance, ready to engage.
3. Mix with younger students—strategically
I get it, younger students may seem like they're in a different universe, but friendships can still happen. We're not homogenous, but we are a set - students at Sussex - so there's always some level of common ground from which to build meaningful connections with other people on campus. Consider joining interest-based societies or collaborate more socially on projects where age isn't the focus - sports societies or volunteering initiatives can bridge the gap. If you're worried about being perceived as out of place for your difference in age, remember that most people worry far more about how they are perceived themselves, and your unique life experience definitely comes with teachable nuggets that your younger peers might truly benefit from.
4. Own your role in the classroom
This is a big one. Older students bring life experience, discipline, and perspective - things that younger students will appreciate far more than you think. Lead by example, if you're comfortable doing so. I've seen mature peers in group projects immediately set the tone, either making everyone in the group take their work a little more seriously - which leads to higher grades - or putting everyone at ease by relating previous similar experience, and tips on how to approach things effectively. If you're not too interested in taking charge, being open to group discussions, study partnerships or even mentoring classmates are things that are just as important, and will naturally lead to friend groups forming.
5. Make peace with different social rhythms
The key thing here is understanding that your version of social life at the University of Sussex doesn't have to look like a freshers' week montage. Your week's Big Night Out With Friends can be dinner with three classmates, or a lunchtime study break with a friend; you're not under a set of rules that say you must mimic whatever student experience is deemed "traditional" by the zeitgeist of this very specific moment in time and culture. Your only responsibility here is to yourself, to position yourself in a social experience that fits your life, not the other way around.
6. Show up consistently
Social life isn't built over the course of a single event, so say yes to the small things - go to a drop-in for a few minutes to grab a coffee, go pet the dogs when the uni emails about those Canine Cuddles events; the more you show up, the more likely it is that familiar faces turn into real friendships.
In my personal experience, it is during those periods where I'm very consistently placing myself in earnest study and work that my people have found me. For example, I spent a week studying in the library pretty much every day, until it felt like *my* space, and not a shared one. Having that "I'm in my own bedroom" level of self-assuredness in a space with other people helped me feel unworried in striking up a few conversations. There was a period during which I visited the same basketball court every week (there's a free outdoor court in Northfield) and made a number of friendships.
It can be easy to fall into thinking that social life is more a distraction than a supplement. While it's true that everyone places differing levels of importance on different aspects of their life, a pretty consistent through-line is that nobody is here to just survive university. You deserve to enjoy it. Building a social life isn't about fitting into some temporary conventional mold - it's about finding (or creating) spaces where you belong.
Trust me, those spaces exist, whether you're 21 or 75.
Dharma Seneviratne (Bsc Computer Science and Artificial Intelligence) serves on the committee for the Mature Students’ Society at the University of Sussex. They also work as a Connector, helping mature students build community on campus.